Wednesday, May 6, 2015

thoughts, full moon, 2.30 am

I can smell gas. Do male blue whales have testicles? Of course they must. But then, how do they glide smooth through the water with the hugest testicles ever? I've forgotten what time the plumber is coming tomorrow. Kerosene. Gay marriage. They must draw their testicles up inside themselves, somehow. I have to set my alarm for 6.30. The Stolen Generation. My scalp itches. How can a person say that the forced removal of thousands of children by the state is akin to the threat of gay marriage? Moving right along people. Think of the children. It is heat regulation that negates my blue whale testicle theory. It's not a straw man folks. It's a dodgey, slippery slope and here is why. Argument a) equates to b) so if a) makes sense then c) is a logical outcome. Try that one at your neighbourhood barbeque and you'll get slaughtered. It's the comb for me because three kerosene washes ain't gettin' those fleas from my hide. 5 hp outboard motors are nine hundred bucks. How do blue whales regulate the temperature of their testicles? I could buy an outboard motor with my tax return and I'd be away. Gay marriage. Wade out that net on the low tide. I'm wearied by my head lice and my waders are uncomfortable. Why? Aunties, they are great but the state decides, or the church. Marriage: Ahh! Oh, my heart, my ovaries, my skin, all my crawling, creeping little testicular beasts, all owned by a state or a church. The blue whale visits the Sound every April the 18th. To the day. I can't sleep that day. I can't sleep. I can smell gas. Why is it so smoky in here? I can smell gas.


  1. The plumber gave me a stern talking to this morning.

  2. Ah, the wonder of gonads, eh? Lots of animals have internal testicles, don't they? Birds are an obvious example. So are reptiles; but then they're cold-blooded. It seems to me, if you're a whale, you've got a whole ocean you can use as a heat-sink; you just have to have the circulatory system carry the heat. Don't elephants do the same with their ears? Do elephants have external testicles? Maybe sperm production works fine at higher temperatures in some animals?

    I dunno about fleas and kerosene and comparing the stolen generation to gay marriage.

    You have a gas leak, did you?

  3. I had a similar crazy time that night. I woke at 2.40 am and couldn't get back to sleep. I blamed it on the massive full moon.

  4. I came across a dead dolphin on the beach on Cape Cod yeras ago. It had an 8" (I didn't actually measure it) penis sticking out in full rigor (mortis) vigor. So yes, not only do the testes live inside for (as you point out) hydrodynamism, but so does the instrument of delivery. Alex has is right. Also came across a dead horse on the beach - perfectly intact. Our shepherdess mix sat next to it and looked at us like: "WTF???". Seemed to have quite an emotional reaction. Did I mention the whale on the beach during a pitch black night walk? Talk about freaky to discover this monster right in front of you like that! I was relieved it was "gone". There's more, but I won't bore you...