Monday, May 30, 2011

Dreams of Freedom the New Bondage (An Aquarian Conundrum)

 Revisited after the latest New Romantic asked for crew on his Recherche Archipelago-bound yacht. (Bah!)

Today at the jetty, South Australian deckies unloaded milky-eyed, flaccid orange roughie into bins.
"I just want to get on a boat and go to sea," I said to my friend.
Of course, my WineDark dreaming is thwarted by more mundane, everyday oceans.


I wanted to get on that boat and go to sea. Like I did at eighteen. Stepped off the planks of that very same jetty and sailed to Tasmania. Like I did at two - naked but for a rucksack, teddy bear and gum boots, heading for the pier at Port MacDonald. (I still remember the blisters, the crunch of the Kingswood's tyres on blue metal, the car door, my Dad's face when he found me.)
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11 comments:

  1. Dr Mad FishJuly 15, 2009 at 7:23 PM

    I know that feeling.....and I went - for a short while. I still get it ocasionally but know the other side of it.

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  2. sontagJuly 15, 2009 at 8:19 PM

    Ha...you kindred spirit you.

    It's funny (but not given that I'm an Aquarian too) that I was thinking about freedom tonight and its true meaning/form. And I posted something titled "Freedom from the Known" by Krishnamurti.

    Then I came here.

    Have you read Krishnamurti?

    Those adventures...they start in the brain, don't they? Then there's no stopping them.

    Thank God for the freedom of writing and all it entails.

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  3. sarah toaJuly 15, 2009 at 9:15 PM

    Thanks for your comments! No I have not read Krishnamurti, Sontag. You are right about the writing thing ... but sometimes it makes it worse. I dunno, it ebbs and flows, just this week I want to fly away but freedom is such a seductive little simulacrum hey?

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  4. C.Q WalkerJuly 15, 2009 at 9:53 PM

    fuck yeah!

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  5. sontagJuly 16, 2009 at 7:13 AM

    I was gonna try and offer you some kinda medicine...but then I remembered I busted this week myself and will soon go on a short trip.

    Seductive? Definitely.

    I was talking to someone a couple of weeks ago who is a friend of Gerard Murnane (writer). He said Murnane never goes (and doesn't want to go anywhere). Murnane has written plenty. My friend suggested that the world of his imagination was enough for him.

    Mm. I said that my imagination was rich too but that I always had one eye on the window.

    So, see I understand your seafaring spirit.

    Better give it a dose of freedom in some form...or a future dream that you map out for it.

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  6. Dr Mad FishJuly 17, 2009 at 7:26 AM

    I reckon if you have an urge to do something and it is persistent, that it is a soul thing. I believe it is absolutely necessary to follow soul, even if it is scarey, because it is where the most significant life truths are revealed.

    I just HAD to go to sea, and I did, just a few short sea journeys, but the most extraordinary experience, possibly of my life so far. I have been prompted by your post to write about some of it. I was so traumatised by the last storm 20 years ago, that I have not done so! Because of course one comes face to face with the ultimate reality of one's small existence. As an over-emotional sensitive, facing that void was just too HUGE......

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  7. chrissieJuly 17, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    I'm feeling the same desire to be free, of responsibilities and have-tos. Hope we can all find a ship somewhere to let ourselves loose...

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  8. sontagMay 31, 2011 at 6:19 PM

    Hi Sarah,

    Yes it would be great to catch up in July.

    I have only recently been able to access my blog again after some tech problems and have not been able to sign in...

    My number is: 6227

    and not wanting to be too "007" - like...I will return with the second half.

    I have a following of sorts and want to keep my number a secret.

    I look forward to meeting both you and Stormboy!

    Sontag

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  9. sarah toaJune 1, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    Wonderful Sontag, thankyou!

    Julie Gough is having an exhibtion in Hobart that I will miss out on but ... it is at the Bett Gallery from the 3rd of June. I met Julie in Albany a few years ago, when she was following up some Pallawah sealer women ancestors who were here.

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  10. ciaranlJune 2, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    What would longing give if it was satisfied?

    Satisfaction, I guess.

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  11. sarah toaJune 2, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Asked and answered well ciaran.

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