Finally, after about twenty years of sucking on coffin nails, I'm attempting to dodge the bullet using drugs and chewing gum. Those drugs are amazing. I've got eight weeks left and I want to take them all the time forever... they are so much more fun than nicotine. Vivid dreaming is flowering my nights - and most of my days too, because I'm getting pretty tired from all that nocturnal therapy. Other than the drugs, things have been strange and weird, a few limbs missing from the body of my life, crutches thrown away, drinking habits ditched and I'm busy trying to channel my bubbling rage about anything and everything into good and not evil.
Too many bad metaphors?
Don't take my metaphors away from me too.
I've been so good.
Just let me keep the bad metaphors,
K?
A friend of mine took those anti-nicotine drugs, and all his hair fell out - ask about possible side-effects! I'm still smoking. Keep your hair AND your metaphors...
ReplyDeleteany time i've had to go without smoking (like the last couple days, after getting a tooth pulled), i've always been intrigued by the array of different thoughts and feelings that come into view. (and this time, i was prescribed vicodin from my dentist, so i was very relaxed, even thought i kept seeing people where there weren't people.) anyway, no-one can ever take your metaphors away from you. ^_^
ReplyDeleteHa ha he er oh. I don't want to lose my hair. I really like smoking but being a bit of a 100 percenter, I tend to overdo things. The last few months I've been waking up all sore inside and that's just plain stupid!
ReplyDeleteIt's a funny thing the monkey mind. The drugs made me dislike smoking and I caught myself saying to myself "You know, if you stop taking those pills, you can really enjoy that cigarette." WTF is with this head 'o mine?
I feel better anyway. But my brain is in seige mentality.
Hang in there Sarah Toa. Lots of cosmic and global stuff is uncentreing a lot of us. Despite my initial and prolonged scepticism, I am starting to believe that we really are at some critical point.....and it won't be resolved soon. Anything you do to 'sort yourself out' has gotta be good.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is we all have addictions, life is one big addiction, but my feeling is we need to work out what's behind that. That might make things easier.
Thanks Michelle. I'm feeling quite resentful at having to resolve anything at the moment! But it's a tiger of a year all right ...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know how you feel. I feel like I have been trying to resolve things ALL my life and wonder how much more I have to do, I am kinda exhausted :/ Maybe that's the point, maybe in the end it's just about 'surrender' which I admit I am not very good at.
ReplyDelete