Before I wandered off into promiscuity (no, not like that), I was thinking about anxiety during Saturday's tree planting ceremony. As we sat and watched others work and magpies build their nest, Ursli's pup wandered down to the footpath. She was sniffing around where the magpies had been picking up twigs and gradually she moved closer to the busy road. Ursli called her back and the pup ignored her.
Ursli walked down the hill to call her up again. As she got closer to the road, the little dog gave her a look, like "so make me" and ran off. She ran straight onto the road and was immediately crushed to a furry bloodied pulp, in front of everyone, by a cavalcade of Hell's Angels on Harley Davidsons. After the roar of the bikies faded away, the screams and sobs of horrified onlookers rang through the valley.
Okay, so that didn't really happen. But it did in my mind. I had played out the whole scenario and was going into a state of fight, flight or freeze. My guts were churning, I was dizzy and later I realised I'd stopped breathing. While Ursli picked up the pup and walked back up the hill, put her on a leash, I was still scraping the carcass off the road.
What interested me was tracking my propensity for inventing worst case scenarios. The scene on the hill with Ursli's dog also made me realise how easily I can be towed around by my own fear. I mean, things have been going really well. Mine is never a very safe life, but it is exciting, loving, challenging and occasionally quite successful. An example of all this good juice is my gorgeous grand daughter Matilda Grace. (gratuitous grand child picture coming up)
There is another good thing that happened recently. I've been shortlisted for the Premier's Book Awards.
“From emerging writer Sally-Ann Jones’s book Stella’s Sea set at Cottesloe beach, David Whish-Wilson’s book Perth describing life by the Swan River and Sarah Drummond’s Salt Story about life as a fisherwoman in Western Australia, the Western
Australian Premier’s Book Awards continue to attract the finest literary
works created in Australia today.” (Margaret Allen, State Library of Western Australia CEO.)
Wowee. Although the award is a West Australian one, entries are open to all Australian writers and there are only four shortlisted in my Emerging Writers section. The winners are announced on September 22nd ... something else to get anxious about ... but there are no worst case scenarios in this one.