Sunday, January 25, 2015

Freaky People

'Hi, I'm Sarah. I live across the road from you.'
'I'm ringing about the two rottweilers who turned up at my place this evening.'
'Well, it's the second time ... the first time it was early in the morning and they scared the shit out of the dog and me. If you could please tell the people who are staying there to lock them -'
'- they're my dogs. I've just bought them to look after my place. We've been done over four times in the last month.'
'Sorry to - '
' - you might know him. The cops told me there's a national alert out for him. He's one of the xxxx boys. He's been in here several times and taken stuff, so I bought the dogs.'
'They're a breeding pair right?'
'So could you please make sure they stay out of our yard? Can you shut your gate?'
 'The gate's shut.'
'No it's not. I just watched your dogs saunter home. And didn't xxxx's dad die last week?'
'Yeah, he died and the cops were waiting but his son didn't show at the funeral. Apparently he's living out bush around here, in a shed, does us over whenever he feels like it. He's gone feral. He'll get done soon enough. That's why I bought the dogs.'
'xxxx? But Ive known him since he was a kid. He was lovely.'

At this point in the phone call, I'd garnered some interesting information but not a solid "I promise that my two rottweilers will not turn up at your house before dawn to attack your puppy." So, yeah, he's a difficult character this bloke. At best, from the most spectacularly unfriendly neighbour ever, (you can read of how he feels about neighbours here) I got a; 'Look, I keep the dogs locked in the shed all day and only let them out at night. That's when they earn their keep, yeah?'
This statement made me feel sooo much better.
'Just shut the gate please. I don't want your dogs visiting us.'
'Alright, well they are sitting right here with me right now as I speak - and I hope your car doesn't get stolen and look after your jerry cans too.'


  1. Replies
    1. We don't have any sheep, or that would be a valid response!

  2. Jesus. He sure is a feral neighbour. I'd be saying to him that I respected what he was trying to do, but that you are also trying to protect what is yours. ie: 'Keep the dogs out of my yard or I'll call the fucking Ranger'.

  3. Maybe I'll just be passive aggressive and put his name into my phone as Gazzathecunt.

    Interestingly, my next installment of Exiles deals with some of the same stuff ... again. Weird.

  4. Passive aggressive doesn't achieve much. I think you are well withing your rights to ask this guy to control his dogs. But he may be feral enough to get stuck into you too, so I can understand your reticence to dob him in. Apart from the fact that it's un-Australian to dob peole in - but I ditched that one ages ago. When someone is being a cunt, they need to be called on it. It's un-Australian to be unfair too.

  5. Although I may spray my discontent with a feral neighbour and his rotties on AWDS, I still have to get on with him in real life. I was being flippant about the passive aggressive thing. Of course I'm going to deal with this thing like a groan up. Dammit.
    But I spoke pretty clearly to him that I don't want his dogs on my doorstep at dawn ever again.
    Hopefully he shuts the gate tonight.

  6. And as for xxxx, I feel very afraid for him. I hope he doesn't do anything too stupid.

  7. It's a difficult one alright, getting on with people while at the same time not compromising your own basic right for a peaceful life. I ask nicely first, unfortunately when that doesn't work I have had to call in some
    'higher' authority. If I didn't, I would take things into my own hands and things could get very ugly, and probably land me in a lot of trouble. I am forced to protect myself from myself.

  8. A difficult situation indeed. If you go knocking off your neighbour's dogs, you'd better be careful that yours never ever goes for a wander.

    He keeps them locked in a shed during the day? Maybe they'll die of heatstoke.

    The xxxx boys? Family from Queensland, are they? ... Sorry, that was a bit crap.

  9. Yes, well if I came from Queensland I'd indulge in whatever I wanted today, even a bad joke :~) Bloody well done banana benders.

    In the end, we've had to shut our own gates at night while his dogs are out 'earning their keep'. We haven't seen them since. What made me furious is after asking him to keep his dogs on his property over night, he said "Well I'll try ..."

    1. At least he didn't just tell you to fuck off, so there's hope at least.

      ... Yeah, I'm just looking on the bright side today. Blissfully assuming the ALP are actually going to repeal the shitty laws that came in under the (now) previous government.

    2. And reinstate a Premier's lit prize. Go on ...