Friday, September 3, 2010

A Bum Steer

(or 'Strong Woman Furphy')

I'm of the age where I've seen a thing or two
but not quite the age where I can accept these things.
I'm of the belief that if I leap off that cliff knowing the Goddess will catch me
then she usually does.

She's seen me drive across the country to introduce my child
to the man who  discovered the body of her father in the bush.
She's seen me stand over the grave of my childhood abuser
and decide not to add my own DNA to his, in the form of my spit
and she's scooped me up me every time, in free flight, arms outstretched.

Yes, there's been a fair bit thrown at me
but, being a bit of a scrapper, I've managed to throw a bit back.
What's bugging me is that being created a strong woman
is not always good for us women.

Sometimes I think that bringing our girls up to be strong, capable and proud
is to teach them that no man is ever gonna step up for them.
Sometimes I think it would be a safer life
to be brought up pretty, flirty and a bit useless.

See that woman on the side of the road
in the middle of nowhere, car bonnet up?
That's me. People fly past - "She's handsome, she looks capable, she's okay."
Well I'm not any of those things. I'm fucking not okay.


  1. I'm not sure if 'a bum steer' is a universal saying. In Australia it means being sent in the wrong direction.

  2. Hmm. the next time I drive past a woman bending over the open bonnet of her car with her head hidden in the engine compartment, I might just stop and see if she needs some assistance, rather than staring at her arse as I flash past.

    Seriously though, I hope - if these experiences are all based on your real past - that you finally get round to spitting on the bastard's grave, and maybe having a little dance too.

    I had a true love once who was really girly, but she had been seriously abused by her father from the age of about 8. I hope she (and you) are having a good time, despite it. How's the whale?

  3. Hello Tom, thanks, that made me laugh while I was busy abusing the internet to vent my spleen.
    The whale was euthenased on Thursday, a polite way of saying it had its head blown up.

  4. Being another 'strong woman' I really relate to this ST. It is so hard for me to ask for help or let someone help me, the need for me to say: 'I can do it myself' is just so automatic. I think it was hard wired into me because my mother says (after me suggesting I wasn't supported as a child) that I was like that as a youngun'. I simply refused any help.

    But I have to add on a positive note, that after chucking one of my 'I don't need anyone' tantrums recently, Boy Wonder said later: 'you know I think next time you are carrying on like that I will just give you a hug'. I think his diagnosis and treatment were spot on, but you know what? He is just as likely to get a verbal thumping for trying. Luckily he is a brave soul.

  5. Thank the Goddess for Brave Souls! I had a kindly pat from a familiar today and that worked for me.

    Now, excuse me while I go and re stump the house.

  6. So Sarah, sorry to hear that the fisher-she in Avalon has the blues... and Sorry too about that whale calf. Yeah, you would have thought that a harbour full of tugs could have thought up a better plan...

  7. Thanks McCabe. Nice to see you back!