Sunday, November 17, 2013

Snippets from Thursday

Me: "It's only five oclock. They're already coming in the door. Shit! I'm not changed yet! Quick, come with me to the toilets. I'll get changed and we can run over our speeches."

Me: "How does this look?"
Menang Elder: "Don't do the red dress with black stockings, darling. But I do like those shoes."

Stormboy: "What else do you want me to do, Mum?"

Aussie: "What are you thinking?" as we sat together by the stage, listening to a board member from Fremantle Press read a speech from my editor.
"I'm thinking that the editor has just said that she reads my blog. Agghh!" I whisper back.

Me: "Here's my phone. Can you take some photos for me?"

Me: "Where are the rest of you fisheries blokes? I thought you were all coming."
Fisheries Officer: "(The impossibly handsome) Brad sends his apologies. He's out tagging Great White sharks at the moment."
"Phwoar. Great Whites. Really? Well, that's a halfway decent excuse. So, there's only you here tonight?"
"Yeah, sorry. I'm not in Compliance. I just count herring gonads."
"Oh, well."

Librarian: "We are running out of white wine, Sarah."

Irish: "Did you buy those red shoes especially? Don't think I've ever seen you in heels before."

Bookseller: "They've drunk all the beer. D'you reckon you find me a beer?"

Ba' Hi Elder: "Can you sign my book?"
"Ahh. You are the beekeeper. I've heard about your bees."

Menang Elder: "I welcome you. Kaya. Kaya. Hello, yes, and welcome to this country."

Librarian: "Do you want us to tick off names or just count heads from now on? Two hundred so far."

Dad: "Do you want me to get some more boxes of wine?"
"Dad. You are a legend."

The book-launcher's ex wife: "That was me who stole his copy of Salt Story. I saw it on his kitchen bench when I was picking up our boy a month ago. I saw your name and it reminded me of when you and me were neighbours all those years back ... so I took it. Hope you don't mind."

Me: "Wow. What are you doing here!"
Donna: "I flew in from Melbourne to come to your book launch Sarah!"

Me: "Wow. What are you doing here!"
Shark: "I flew in from Phnom Penh and caught a bus down to Albany to come to your book launch Sarah!"

Random womanchild: "I've read your book. I love it. I want to write. I'd like to write a book."

Bookseller: "Sold a heap of books tonight. Well done."

Librarian: "On closing, Sarah has suggested the front bar of the Royal George Hotel as the next venue for tonight."

Publican: "Sarah, how many people are you expecting to come to the pub tonight? Reason is, I need to know whether to put another barmaid on. Also, I hope your folk won't feel too intimated by the bikies. About forty Coffin Cheaters have just rocked up."

Me: "Guys! Please don't stack the chairs. I'll do it in the morning. We're going to the pub."

Coffin Cheater: "Hey, Woolly!"
Another Coffin Cheater: "Hello Woolly Girl! What's yer book about?"

Me: "I need food."
Barmaid: "Here's something, love." (Breaks a pack of crisps into a basket and pushes it over the bar.)

"Who's on the pool table?"

"Where can we get some food?"

"Hey! Woolly!"


  1. And they say writing is a lonely business...

  2. But it is Tom!
    A lot of people about town have been quite surprised that I actually wrote a book. I mean, it's not like you write the thing on a stage. The book launch was a very public manifestation of the years spent lonely, keyboard for company.

    1. Yeah, I know. I used to wave to Angela Carter through her kitchen window every morning, not knowing who she was either.

    2. I love that story. She's an idol of mine.

  3. Sounds like bloody mayhem! But such fun. And Shark? Flying in from Vietnam(?), wow! You looked absolutely gorgeous in the photo of you on stage.

  4. It wasn't mayhem, just felt like it at my end! Thanks Michelle.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Sorry I'm having comment problems. Sounds like an amazing launch and you had it all. People flying in from everywhere, bikies, barmaids, herring gonads and Great Whites, fab dads and boxes of wine, red shoes. Best launch ever. Wish I'd flown in too...

  7. Rollicking. As it should be too. What a buzz.

    1. It was great fun Ciaran. And everything went to plan, which is a good thing!

  8. Replies
    1. Hmmm, right. Don't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes at that one.